10 Reasons Why I Like Flying

10. At least one flight attendant will look like (1) someone you know or (2) a hybrid of (1) and a random celebrity. For example, on a recent flight to Chicago I was served by Frank, a combination of my dentist and Camilla Parker-Bowles.

9. The safety video. You learn something new everytime. Over the summer I learned that the level of inflation of your oxygen mask depends on altitude. I like to know these things.

8. Ginger-ale. I've never drank ginger-ale below 35,000 feet. True story.

7. Empty middle-seats. The airborne-equivalent of getting rung-up by the photobooth cashier at CVS, simultaenously skipping over 10 people in line who have been waiting 15 minutes longer than you. And there's nothing they can do about it.

6. People complaining to ticket agents. Sheer entertainment. My favorite part is when the person concludes by saying "I'm not flying this airline again!" Just once I want to hear the agent respond, "OK, our airline is bankrupt and $250 million in the red. I'm sure our CEO will care that he won't be getting your $300. Really. Have a nice day!"

5. Waiting for your bags, all the while thinking "Someone could easily steal all of my clothes and never get caught."

4. The snack mixes you get with your drink on the plane. I wasn't aware you could season a peanut with chili powder, but who am I?

3. That-frumpy-middle-aged-woman-wearing-a-beret-who-yells-at-parents-of-crying-infants-who-is-taking-notes-out-of-a-L.-Ron-Hubbard-novel. There's one on every plane.

2. Ambiguously sexually-orientated male flight attendants. Enough said.

1. The pilot and flight crew awkwardly saying goodbye to the passengers as you get off, kind of like a bad improve comedy troupe after a show.