Top 10 Reasons Why I Like Old Navy

10. Their constant attempts at inventing clothes. We're disturbingly close to fleece capri pants, I'm telling you.

9. Realizing that you've been suckered into shopping there by TV ads more annoying than those for The Olive Garden.

8. Every minute you're in Old Navy is one minute you're not shopping at The Gap.

7. Setting off the security alarm when leaving, only to be told by a cashier to go ahead. Honestly, have you ever see an employee care when those things get set off.

6. Trying to figure out the difference between Carpenter and Painter jeans. I'm stumped.

5. Not being able to walk 5 feet without being asked to sign up for an Old Navy credit card. Nothing like paying a monthly fee for a card that I'll forget I have.

4. The absolute lock that you will hear a Rob Thomas song played over the speaker system. Bet the house on that one.

3. The employee in charge of the dressing rooms, if only for the fact that he or she wields way too much unnecessary power. And they know it.

2. The cashiers always checking the size of both shoes when you buy them. I'm sorry, but there are certain things I'm willing to take responsibility for, and being able to buy two shoes that are the same size is one of them.

1. The headsets. What possible emergency in clothing retail is there that an Old Navy clerk would need to radio someone immediately, and lack functionality in both hands?