I caught a bit of Scooby-Doo on Cartoon Network today. Because I’m awesome. Anyway, a few things about this show have been bugging me for years.

1.) Whenever the gang get to whatever haunted house they’re investigating, they always split up into the same groups. Group A: Fred, Daphne and Velma. The other team? Shaggy and Scooby. That’s right, pair the pot-head and talking dog. It’s like in gym class when the teacher was feeling malevolent and decided to put all soccer players on the same team for kickball.

2.) Every episode always involved some big scheme or hustle, usually involving thousands of dollars. Yet it always boiled down to some guy dressing up like some sort of monster or ghoblin. Could you imagine if this is how people solved things in the real world? “Sir, you’re being investigated for tax fraud.”

“OK, I want you to call my lawyers…and go get my Abominal Snowman outfit!”